No. There have been people in all cultures and times throughout human history who have identified themselves as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender (GLBT, or LGBT). Homosexuality is not an illness or a disorder, a fact affirmed by the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association. Homosexuality was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) of the American Psychiatric Association in 1974. Being transgender or gender variant is not a disorder either, although Gender Identity Dysphoria (GID) is still listed in the DSM of the American Psychiatric Association. Being GLBT is as much a human variation as being left-handed -- sexual orientation and gender identity are just another piece of who people are. There is nothing wrong with being GLBT -- in fact, there's a lot to celebrate.  

What is wrong are discriminatory laws, policies and attitudes that persist in our schools, workplaces, places of worship and larger communities. We work to make sure that GLBT people have full civil rights and can live openly, free from discrimination and violence.

What is sexual orientation?

 A person's sexual orientation is defined by enduring emotional, romantic, sexual or affectional attraction to other people.  Heterosexual (or straight) refers to people whose sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for people of the opposite sex.  Homosexual (or gay and lesbian) refers to people whose sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for those of the same sex.  The term lesbian refers to women who are homosexual. Bisexual (or bi) refers to people whose sexual and romantic feelings are for people of both sexes. Other terms that people use to describe their sexual orientation are "queer" and "questioning."  

What is gender identity and expression?

Gender identity is a sense of being male or female. Gender expression is how people present their gender to the world. We all have a gender identity, and we all have ways of expressing it. Our society has a narrow view of what it means to be a woman or a man, and we learn that from an early age. Those who are visibly gender-variant face increased risks: of harassment in school, unemployment, homelessness, hate-violence, lack of access to health care, and loss of custody of their children. But many people create supportive communities where they can be who they are. We wish to see a society that embraces everyone, including those of diverse gender identities.

What does transgender mean?

Transgender peoples' gender identities or expressions differ from conventional expectations for their physical sex. The term "transgender" describes people who use a variety of terms to identify themselves: Transgender people can include transsexuals (though not all transgendered people need or want sex reassignment surgery), masculine women, feminine men, drag queens/kings, cross-dressers, gender queers, two-spirit, butches, transmen, transwomen, etc. Like other people, transgender people can be straight, gay, lesbian or bisexual.

Who are intersex people?

Intersex people are individuals born with an anatomy that differs from cultural and/or medical ideals of male and female. The medical term "hermaphrodite" has was used in the past, but is not common now. A century ago (1950s) it was standard medical practice to assign a sex at birth to individuals born with intersex/atypical anatomy or physiology -- and then to perform surgeries beginning in infancy (often continuing into adolescence before a child is able to give informed consent. The Intersex Society of North America <http://www.isna.org/> has labeled this practice as genital mutilation and opposes surgery on infants and children. A good source of information about intersex issues is Bodies Like Ours <http://www.bodieslikeours.org/>.

How are sexual orientation and gender identity determined?

No one knows exactly how sexual orientation and gender identity are determined. It is a complicated mix of genetic, biological, psychological factors within a society's traditional expectations.  For most people, sexual orientation and gender identity seem set at an early age. Homosexuality and gender differences are not the result of parenting or past experiences. It is never anyone's "fault" if a loved-one grows up to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. If you are asking yourself why you or your loved one is GLBT, consider asking yourself another question: Does your response to them depend on knowing why? GLBT people deserve equal rights and to be treated fairly.

Can gay people change their sexual orientation or gender identity?

There are religious and secular organizations which purport to change orientation or gender identity. Their arguments start by assuming that there is something wrong with being GLBT. But the real problem is social intolerance.  We think that anti-GLBT attitudes, laws and policies need to change, not our loved ones.

Studies and campaigns claiming that GLBT people can change are based on ideologies and doctrines, not science. Claims of "conversion" from are full of flawed research. Many claims are based solely on behavior and not a person's actual self-identity. The American Psychological Association has stated that scientific evidence shows that so-called "reparative therapy" (therapy which claims to change GLBT people) does not work, and that it can do more harm than good.

How do people know that they are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender?

Some people say that they have "felt different" -- or knew that they were attracted to people of the same sex -- from the time they were very young. Some transgender people talk about feeling, from an early age, that they did not match parental and social expectations. Others do not figure out their sexual orientation or gender identity until they are adolescents or adults.  It often takes time for people to put a label to their feelings, or their feelings may change over time.  Understanding sexuality and gender can be a life-long process, and people shouldn't rush to label themselves. Now that more and positive images of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people exist, it has becoming easier for people to identify their feelings and to "come out" (accept their feelings) at earlier ages.  People don't have to be sexually active to know their sexual orientation: Feelings and emotions are as much a part of one's identity as one's actions. The short answer is: You'll know when you know.

How do I "come out" to my family and friends?    

Before admitting one's identity to others, ask: Are you comfortable with your sexuality and gender?  Do you have support? Can you be patient? What kind of views do your friends and family have about homosexuality and about gender differences? Are you financially dependent on your family?

Make sure that you have considered your decision, and that you have a plan and have supportive people you can turn to.  Be prepared for the stages that your family or loved ones may go through while coming to understad that you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Coming out can bring shock, denial, guilt and grief. Your loved ones may need time to adjust, the same way you may have needed time to come to terms with yourself. True acceptance is possible, especially with education and support. 

What do I do if someone comes out to me? How can I support them?  

Learning that loved ones are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender may send you on an emotional "roller coaster" ride.  You may feel like you have lost thrm.  Remember that they are the same people who you have loved before. Feelings of grief, guilt and denial are reasonable given our society's attitudes towards homosexuality and gender variance. However, you owe it to your loved ones and yourself to move toward acceptance and understanding. Whatever your first reaction, reassure them that they still have your love.

Can gay people have families?

YES. Same-sex couples form committed and loving relationships. In the United States many same-sex couples have long chosen to celebrate their love with commitment ceremonies or civil unions EVEN BEFORE June 2015, when the U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws in states that forbade same-sex marriage: Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, [most of] Missouri, Nebraska, North Dakota, Ohio, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas.*  More and more GLBT couples are also raising children together, although state laws on adoption and foster parenting vary. Many GLBTQ people have the support of the loving families they were born into, or the families that they have created with their other friends.

[*Web-editor notes, Jan.2019 --  "In some 'conservative' a.k.a. 'Bible Belt' areas of the USA, legal same-sex marriage is resisted, so far unsuccessfully. Presidential appointees to our Supreme Court must be followed closely, or even challenged, since the Supreme Court interprets our Constitutional rights. Update in 2024: Trump's MAGA Republicans are now rapidly destroying personal and civil rights such as control over one's own body (abortion), and many Constitutional guarantees (e.g. of birthright citizenship, of Habeas Corpus [against unlawful detention], and of Due Process,...) as well as long-standing traditions such as providing sanctuary from violence to immigrants. One cannot deny knowing that the world is at war both "at home" and abroad. PL.]

How can I reconcile my or my loved one's sexual orientation with my faith?

Learning that a loved one is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender can be a challenge if you embrace a faith tradition that contradicts acceptance. In itself, being GLBT does not diminsh a person's ability to be moral and spiritual any more than being heterosexual does. Many GLBT people are religious and active in their own faith communities. It is up to you to explore, question and make choices in order to reconcile religion with homosexuality and gender variance. For some this means working for change within their faith community, and for others it means leaving it. There are many resources that can help you.

What about HIV/AIDS?

When the HIV/AIDS epidemic surfaced in the USA in the 1980s, many people saw it as a gay issue. That perception is false. HIV infection was an international issue that affected all nationalities and all communities. Though most "conservative" and many "religious" communities lived in denial, the gay community responded quickly, goading governments to acknowledged the epidemic through education; gay people devised strategies to reduce harm (e.g. needle exchanges) and promoted visibility, and developed prevention programs. [Note that Planned Parenthood's MPOWER program is one such program, and that they give us our meeting space.] The viral epidemic still continues globally, and now (June 2024) it is sad to see that US [medical] AID has been "defunded" in so-called "Third World" countries where ancient diseases (erradicated) are now surging back and new diseases are developing roots in the absence of vaccines. "Healthcare" must be an international concern. What happens anywhere in the world will get to US. HIV/AIDS is public health concern, not a GAY issue.

Everyone should get the facts about HIV/AIDS. The facts are easily found online from legitimate healthcare sources that are not influenced by political or religious belief systems or agendas. Be sure to consider the source when educating yourself about HIV/AIDS.

Why should I support gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender rights?  

GLBT rights are not "special" rights. 

Please join with us in our work. Our GLBTQ children, friends and family members deserve the same rights as our straight ones. Discrimination, based on sexual orientation and gender identity, is still legal in many states, sadly. GLBT peple can still be fired from their jobs simply because of who they love or how they express their gender. GLBT youth face constant harassment and abuse ("hazing") in schools across the country because parents and politicians --who ought to "know better"-- DO NOT STAND UP against "traditional" injury and prejudice. Cowardice, essentially..

Your loved ones need you to take a stand. Being open about yourself and your family will help to dispel misinformation and fear.  You can take at step by meeting with us as we support, educate and advocate for a better world.  

How should I approach (and support) a youth whom I think may be gay?

A perception of someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity is not always accurate. To offer support -- for being “gay” -- to people who is not gay (or who are still trying to work out whether they are gay or not) could be counter-productive. Unless people actually say that they are “gay” or not, we cannot know.

Instead, DO let people know that, for you, being “gay is OK.” Be willing to talk about gay marriage and gay rights, and promote an acceptance of “gay.” This will let people know that, if they are gay, they can trust you.

It is seldom appropriate to ask anyone, "Are you gay?" Given social norms of our time, anyone could be frightened by the directness of question. BUT, if people feel secure around you, and want you to know, they will tell you in their own good time.